My mom is very annoyed by some Lime e-scooters parked in her neighborhood

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein) 06/25/2019 at 09:42 • Filed to: None

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This weekend, I went to Chicago with my mom to celebrate my grandma’s 95th birthday. During this trip, my mom complained about some Lime scooters that had been parked in her neighborhood. Repeatedly.

Basically, someone parked 5 Lime scooters on the little strip of grass between the sidewalk and the street, in front of the first house on the way in to her neighborhood when you turn in from the main road. Like this:

She wasn’t aware of the dockless e-scooter concept, and thought the Lime company had decided to make this a pickup point for the scooters, and all sorts of ne’er-do-wells would now be driving into her neighborhood to pick up scooters and cause mischief.

Also, in our particular suburb of DC, that little strip of grass between the sidewalk and street is technically both part of the property of the house it’s in front of, and is public right-of-way. So she was all on about how these scooters shouldn’t be parked in the public right-of-way and that’s illegal.

My brother lives in the city, and doesn’t have a car, but uses Car2Go frequently enough that my mom knows what it is. I explained to her these scooters work exactly the same. The app knows where the scooters are, someone probably just parked them there when they were done riding them, and someone else would eventually come pick them up and park them somewhere else.

I thought that explanation was good enough for her, but the next day she texted me:

The scooters weren’t parked legally. They’re in public right of way on private property. On private property in PROW they can’t be parked in a way that damages landscaping.

Oh heavens no, not the LANDSCAPING!!!

Some context: my mom is 65 years old, but she’s friggin glued to her phone all the time. She googles the shit out of shit incessantly. But she’s also...not very good at using a phone and googling shit.

Case in point: before our flight back to DC, my mom and I were waiting for my sister to come out of the bathroom at O’Hare, and considering eating at that !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! restaurant, which was directly across the hall from the bathroom we were waiting for my sister to emerge from.

We were staring right at this restaurant, but the menu board was a little too small to read from across the hall. My mom, instead of walking over to look at the menu, insisted on looking it up online, but couldn’t actually get to the menu. I found it immediately and texted her a link. Then my sister showed up and we all walked over to the damn restaurant.

Anyway, after my mom texted me about the illegality of parking Lime scooters on private/public right-of-ways, I decided to google “lime scooter parked illegally.” The first result was !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! with a link to a form to report illegally parked scooters. I sent it to her. She didn’t respond.

But I just know that she filled the shit out of that form. You can bank on it.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Textured Soy Protein 06/25/2019 at 09:47

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She’ll be more annoyed when there’s e-scooter burnout penis graffiti all over her driveway (like in the big plaza just outside my building).

I hate those scooters, because 90% of the people I see using them are stupid and/or reckless, and the companies have seemingly no accountability for the problems they’re creating (injuries, vandalism). 

This happened recently in my city...

https://www.kjrh.com/news/local-news/child-on-scooter-dies-after-hit-and-run-near-gathering-place

fintail > Textured Soy Protein 06/25/2019 at 09:58

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Her age and takes check out.

My mom, slightly older but in the same demographic, gets irritated when people park in front of her house - like when someone visits the neighbors etc. Mind you, she parks in her own garage/d riveway and has no actual need for street parking, and lives in a small town with no legal parking restrictions. If her town ever gets these or limebikes, it’ll be amusing.

BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind > Textured Soy Protein 06/25/2019 at 10:06

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I can totally see your mom being one of those DC people campaigning *against * new sidewalks in neighborhoods. DC is the only place I’ve ever been to that wants to make walking more difficult.

Anyway, it makes total sense that the scooters are on the outskirts of major neighborhoods. Then they actually be used for commuting, which may cut down on the terrible traffic just a liiiiiittttle.  That being said, isn’t Whootton Pkwy in Rockville? That would be a long journey to DC on a scooter. 

BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind > fintail 06/25/2019 at 10:07

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My house is adjacent to a school, and a few of the teachers park in front of my house every day. Doesn’t bother me in the slightest, but drives my MIL (who, of course, doesn’t live there) batty that they do it. 

TheRealBicycleBuck > Textured Soy Protein 06/25/2019 at 10:16

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“I sent it to her. She didn’t respond.”

In the early days of the internet, my mom started forwarding every goofy fake news and chain e-mail that found its way into her inbox. After receiving way too many of these things, I started replying with the information to debunk the claim, usually sourced from Snopes. Do I need to worry about my kidneys being stolen? Nope . Are our Disney tapes worth a fortune? No, Mom . Please learn to look it up for yourself.

It took several months, but then it finally clicked - never believe anything you read on the internet. She started debunking the e-mails herself and replying to her friends with the truth. I was glad she finally became a road block to the junk mail floating around the internet.  

nermal > Textured Soy Protein 06/25/2019 at 10:19

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The proper solution to the scooter problem is to build some sweet jumps nearby, and let Darwin sort things out.

Ash78, voting early and often > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/25/2019 at 10:23

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I probably spent a solid decade of my life informing people about Snopes. People can say all they want about Fake News today, but as a proportion of the total, the 90s and early 2000s were a lot worse.

Most people today fact-check stuff to the point of pedantic douchebaggery. It’s almost impossible to even have a conversation anymore.

fintail > BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind 06/25/2019 at 10:26

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Some kind of manifestation of the “get off my lawn” syndrome that comes with age/experience I suppose, even when it isn’t their territory. Funny thing, when I was younger, my family lived near a school, and cars parked in front of our house constantly. She didn’t seem to care then.

Textured Soy Protein > BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind 06/25/2019 at 10:26

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Also, in our particular suburb of DC



And actually, in Rockville, sidewalks are required in residential neighborhoods, but once you get outside the city limits and you're in other unincorporated parts of Montgomery county, there are lots of neighborhoods with no sidewalks.

Textured Soy Protein > TheRealBicycleBuck 06/25/2019 at 10:28

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My grandpa (RIP) loved to forward shit. So much so that I had to create a Gmail filter to automatically mark his forwards as read when they came in so I wouldn’t get so many notifications from him. I showed him Snopes repeatedly. Then he kept forwarding shit and saying  he had checked it on Snopes and it's true.

Textured Soy Protein > fintail 06/25/2019 at 10:29

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This ain't even all that close to her house though! The only way it affects her is she has to see the things when leaving or returning to her neighborhood. 

fintail > Textured Soy Protein 06/25/2019 at 10:47

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That fun combination of being a know it all, territorial, and meddlesome.   Just imagine what it will be like in another 10 years :)

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Textured Soy Protein 06/25/2019 at 10:49

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On Garbage day just put them in a bin. Problem solved!

TysMagic > Textured Soy Protein 06/25/2019 at 11:04

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Your mom’s response is exactly on point for what I would expect.

While I like the concept, I’m very excited about Nashville’s move away from scooters.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Textured Soy Protein 06/25/2019 at 11:16

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“ IT’S ON SNOPES! IT’S TRUE!”

“Grandpa, that’s not how this works ”

Textured Soy Protein > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 06/25/2019 at 11:30

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Sometimes Snopes does actually confirm stuff is real. 

b33g33 > Textured Soy Protein 06/25/2019 at 12:44

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Ima get in touch with your mom so we can end this tyranny of small, electric scooters terrorizing our neighborhoods and children.

I don’t have any issues with the scooters per se but there do seem to be a large number of knob -heads who seem gravitate toward using them as late night drunk entertainment. 

Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) > Textured Soy Protein 06/25/2019 at 12:45

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These goddamn things infiltrated our neighborhood a couple weekends ago. Within hours there were dozens of them just strewn about, left ‘parked’ in the middle of busy sidewalks, usually intersecting the sidewalk so everyone else has to either walk around them or otherwise move them, ‘gently’, of course.

I’m fine with the idea/premise of them (aside from the fact that most people I see on them either could use the exercise, or are so scared to use them that I don’t understand why they’re trying) , I hate the execution and the assholes that are inconsiderate. Never mind the people that ride them down the sidewalk, or on roads, when they should be using the bike lanes and following the same rules of the road as bikers (stopping at stop signs, signaling, etc).

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Textured Soy Protein 06/25/2019 at 12:56

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https://youtu.be/MfSZ-zX1UIk

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > Textured Soy Protein 06/25/2019 at 21:25

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I agree with your mom. Dockless bike/scooter shares represent a tangible hazard and are a nuisance.

ateamfan42 > fintail 06/26/2019 at 13:42

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Some kind of manifestation of the “get off my lawn” syndrome that comes with age/experience I suppose, even when it isn’t their territory.

While I’m totally cool with the “get off my lawn” concept, people need to understand what is and isn’t THEIR “lawn”.

A public street is, by its very name, PUBLIC. As in, any member of the public may use it and park along it. That’s what public means. Why people can’t grasp this concept is beyond me.

fintail > ateamfan42 06/26/2019 at 14:51

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Combination of a few things probably - lack of self-awareness, entitlement issues, myopic views.  Some cohorts love these traits.